Paper Polls, Surveys & Quizzes

May 7th, 2008
Self Poll:

Suddenly you have a Great Idea that must be written down. What Kind of Paper are you likely to use?

Blue-Lined Paper

Legal Pad

Paper with No Lines at all

Envelope, Bar Napkin, whatever's at hand

I don't need paper

View results

By Bmccue7

56 votes, 280 views , 3 comments

Poll tags:Idea, Sketchpad, Ruled, Note, Paper, Unruled, Jot, Legal

Recent voters:

Jun 14th, 2008
Self Poll:

In 1972, in small-town mid-America, Sister Rosemary assigned a paper describing who we most admired/wanted to be and why. Pretty standard stuff. I wrote my paper on how I admired Helen Lawson and wanted to be just like her when I grew up. I don't remember much about the contents of the paper, but I do recall expressing my longing for a silver lame pantsuit and a red wig.My mother -- a narcissistic woman more like Helen Lawson than not -- was called in to meet with the principal, Sister Ann Marie, (again) who used my paper as evidence of my unnatural tendencies. (She undoubtedly blamed this on the fact that my mother was divorced.) My mother read the paper and said something to the effect of, "He's got an eye for clothes, that one. Wouldn't that silver pantsuit look great on me? I wonder if he could learn to sew."I still want to be Helen Lawson. And I look fabulous in lame.

I'm a straight woman, but I've been mistaken for a gay man. Three times. Once I was dressed as a bearded sheik. This was before it resulted in jail and torture. A guy joined us and asked, "Is he gay?" I was kinda pleased. I mean, thecostume worked. Maybe I should have quit gesturing with my hands.The other two times my curves were hidden under a jacket. But c'mon: purple and orange framed glasses; makeup; earrings; kinda pouty lips. Get a clue! Andstop calling me "sir!"Gayest Person Ever, apparently. Who knew? But I'm proud.

When I was a kid, at the beginning of my family's driveway was a fir tree, in which I spent a lot of time, giving the branches hairstyles and chattering away with my ladies.I'd give each lady her own specific style, personality and name (Miss Bertha was a hawk with a "whirlwind"); all the while, I would talk both sides of the conversation: on politics, fairies, books, boys, the weather. I'd expound on the snatches of my Mother's gossip, out loud, my feet dangling a good 10 feet off the ground.

I walk around the University of Miami campus wearing fairy wings, a tiara, and occasionally a skirt, singing Britney and Disney songs, with an occasional Cher song to spice things up. This preoccupation with turning all of life into a musical follows me into the streets, restaurants, and stores of Miami and the greater Ft Lauderdale area. This, along with an unhealthy obsession with Tinker Bell and Peter Pan, has caused everyone to assume that I am a Disney employee, at one point resulting in the possible termination of my job at Disney World, which I don't actually have…yet .

Most boys go to 4-H summer camp to learn about farming. I went to become Bette Midler's spiritual sister. While Bette sang "Matchmaker" on Broadway, I stood in the barn (Judy, anyone?), and at age 7 became one of Tevye's daughters. In shtetl drag. And what is shtetl drag? Beach towel cum peasant skirt and a schmata for a headscarf. And pinched cheeks. Whores use rouge, Tevye's daughters pinch their cheeks. And sing "Matchmaker" (like Bette!). And get married to a boy from another cabin. And become the most precious junior Broadway queen. Sui generis, sui FABULOUS.