is disowning him really going to change how you still feel? it just seems so final. maybe something more like "i'm going to keep my distance but if or when you need me i'll be here." whatever you decide to do, i'll not judge. I can't imagine being in your situation. it would be very hard.
You need to make it clear to your father that you are his child and deserve to be treated as such. Not hidden like some mistress. But don't give any ultimatums unless you can live up to them.
It's hard and I know it hurts, but sometimes you just have to watch people make an awful decision and then try to just sit there and watch and hurt, but then try to offer support too. I know that your hurt by him, but wouldn't you rather have what you guys have now then have nothing at all. I'm sorry about your situation. I wish that I could help.
You can't really change other people. You can state your case (sounds like you have) and then either accept them or reject them. I've certainly tried to change people in the past, and... it just isn't easy for people to be someone they're not.
If you want to have a relationship with your father, you will just have to deal with the situation. It doesn't sound like your Dad is willing to listen to reason. If it were me, I would just let go of the relationship all together. If he were willing to stand up for himself, then that would be a different story.
He is 70 years old and does not want to be alone. She is younger than him but is retiring this yr. She will be around all the time and we'll never be able to talk.
is disowning him really going to change how you still feel? it just seems so final. maybe something more like "i'm going to keep my distance but if or when you need me i'll be here." whatever you decide to do, i'll not judge. I can't imagine being in your situation. it would be very hard.
You need to make it clear to your father that you are his child and deserve to be treated as such. Not hidden like some mistress. But don't give any ultimatums unless you can live up to them.
It's hard and I know it hurts, but sometimes you just have to watch people make an awful decision and then try to just sit there and watch and hurt, but then try to offer support too. I know that your hurt by him, but wouldn't you rather have what you guys have now then have nothing at all. I'm sorry about your situation. I wish that I could help.
You can't really change other people. You can state your case (sounds like you have) and then either accept them or reject them. I've certainly tried to change people in the past, and... it just isn't easy for people to be someone they're not.
I love him so much but I think about letting go often because this causes so much hurt for me and my family.
They are. I try to tell him that but he won't listen.
If you want to have a relationship with your father, you will just have to deal with the situation. It doesn't sound like your Dad is willing to listen to reason. If it were me, I would just let go of the relationship all together. If he were willing to stand up for himself, then that would be a different story.
I assume your siblings are adults now? If yes, I would encourage him to leave this second. He's being abused.
He is 70 years old and does not want to be alone. She is younger than him but is retiring this yr. She will be around all the time and we'll never be able to talk.
Why has he lived with her this long? He needs to rid himself of this poisonous person. Until then.... it will only get worse (if that's possible).