Jun 2nd, 2008 | Family survey

If you are in the hospital and your "friend" (who also happens to be a sister in law) brings over your husband's former flame (who still has eyes for him) would you ever consider them your friend again, or how would you handle???


PLEASE RESPOND!!!  Hi there!  I need help!  I was placed in the hospital last year and while I was in there my husband's sister in law planned a big poker get together at the house.  In additiion, she invited AND BROUGHT my husband's former girlfriend whom still had eyes for him and I'm quite sure he as well.  I later found out about this and told my husband that she(sister in law) was no longer welcome at our home.  I kept emphasizing that I couldn't believe she had the nerve to disrespect me like that.  He keeps telling me to let it go.  He says she is family and we have to try to get along.   I don't know what to do.  I feel violated and even the mother says I don't have to like her, but I should try to tolerate her since we are family.  Pleae help!!!!



42 votes, 290 views , 9 comments
 
 
Poll tags:Family, Betrayed, Love, Disrepected, Confused

 
Add your comment
Update your status line


Comments (9)
Vulgarian
(Reply)
Massachusetts, United States

posted Jun 3rd, 2008 at 04:46 CDT

Just my humble opinion: You have every right to be pissed. Why would she do this to you? Me, I would tell the “let it go” folks sure, just as soon as she A. Apologizes and B. Agrees not to ever repeat that trailer trash shit and C. Promises to respect you and your marriage. Your husband, that’s between you and him. Would he be so forgiving? Would he like to find out? Ask Guggle girl for some good advice.

Scotkitty
(Reply)
Arizona, United States

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 16:34 CDT

^^ What Pugs said.

Enjoylife
(Reply)
Fiji

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 14:05 CDT

Thank you Beachbum.  I think you have every right to be upset.  Personally, I would just cut ties with the SIL and be done with that part of it.  Then I would concentrate on the issue with your husband.  If he has admitted he is wrong and says he wouldn't do it again, it can be worked out.  If he doesn't admit to any wrongdoing, then that is your biggest problem.  Good luck. 

Beachbum513
(Reply)
Virginia, United States

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 13:04 CDT

Yes, that has come up and that is part of the problem - I am mad about the whole thing and he is telling me to be mad at him, and not her.  Believe me, I am mad at BOTH of them, but I just can't get past what she did - she and the ex conspired all of this.  That is why I reaching out for help - because I'm just so mad and everybody thinks I should be able to just push it under the rug and it will all go away, but it's been several months and it's not gone anywhere....  Thanks..  Love your picture! 

Enjoylife
(Reply)
Fiji

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 CDT

Your friend/sister-in-law did in fact disrespect you, but what about your husband?  IMO, he disrespected you more by accepting this woman into your home while you were not in a position to oppose.  When you were at your most vulnerable he chose to violate your home (which should be your sanctuary).  Plus, what was he doing having a poker party while you were in the hospital anyway?  Maybe he should have been visiting you?  I know that if I were in the hospital, my husband would be there night and day.  So, yes...I think you should tell your sister-in-law how you feel and cut ties, but I would also consider kicking him to the curb as well.  What is a relationship without trust and respect?  JMO  

Frecklesrsexy
(Reply)
Ohio, United States

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 12:06 CDT

i'm just passive aggressive. I wouldn't say anything b/c i don't like fighting, but i'd be pissed as hell. i'd be bitching about it for years. I think you have every right to bitch her out, and tell her that it was extremely insensitive of her.  and that if she doesn't get her shit together then tell her to never darken your door. i know exactly what you mean. my boyfriend's sister had me & her friend (who also happened to be my boyfriends ex) in her wedding. which is fine. but when there was a shortage of men i didn't get to walk with my boyfriend the ex did. Grrr. she was a real bitch too. not to mention one time his sister wanted her to go on a family vacation. joy!

Ang
(Reply)
Texas, United States

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 11:09 CDT

Your welcome........Letting it go is easier than confrontation in most people's eyes. Most likely she has spent the majority of her life getting away with whatever she wants. It's your life and you don't have to live it like this. You have to put your foot down if you want to be happy.

Beachbum513
(Reply)
Virginia, United States

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 09:43 CDT

me too, but they are making me think I'm making this up - she tries to come around like all is just great and when I threaten to make waves, all I hear about his how I should let it go.  They planned it all - they are still friends and it just makes my blood boil.  Thanks for making me realize I'm not the crazy one!

Ang
(Reply)
Texas, United States

posted Jun 2nd, 2008 at 09:30 CDT

Bullshit....You don't have to love your family and you don't even have to get along. I know I would say something! Seriously, I would be suspicious of her motives. That's just me though. Suspicious by nature!

 
Log in using your:

* Username
* Email address
* Password
 
Buddy icon
* Gender
     
* Birth date
Country
City
 (your vote will still count)
Embed Flash Widget
Embed Java Script Widget
Copy & paste the embed code to your site.